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Sunday, December 23, 2012

Christmas in the Dining Room

Not So Merry....
These are photos of my dining room this Christmas. 
I was very excited about decorating it this year.

What you don't see in these photos are the empty storage boxes I photographed around.
I can't show a long view because there is stuff strewn all about.

Sometimes in spite all your best efforts and plans....you have no control over how things go.

I only finished my decorating Saturday night...Sunday morning I was up and getting ready
to move all boxes to storage when I got the call that my friend Shannon
was at the hospital.

A call a few minutes later told me she was gone.

She died at home shortly after waking this morning.
Just suddenly gone. 

I was dazed....stunned.
I'd spoken to her several times the day before.
I'd spoken to her the night before.
We were to plan our Christmas Eve meal.
It was to include lobster bisque.
That was the only thing we knew for sure.

I was going to shop for it today.

Instead I was at her home with her husband and friends mourning our loss.

Before I went to her home...to sit with her husband...
I took photos of my Christmas mess.
Which truly is what it is now.

A big mess. Life is a big mess.

I should not have even bothered this year.
Now I have it all to put away on top of everything else going on and 
my Mom's fastly approaching surgery.

But...I thought I might as well show what I've done...or it will all be to waste.

But...I think I'll just say I give up.
For now...I just give up.
I'm not going to try any more.
I plan and work and try and hope and wish...
it does no good.

I may not post for awhile.
I hope you all have a nice Christmas...for me
it has turned out just something to get through again
in spite of my best efforts to make it merry.

My friend Shannon was the sweetest, kindest most thoughtful person ever.
She was always trying to figure out what she could do for others to make their lives better.

The last few months we talked a lot about how good things would be
when she was better.
How good next Christmas would be and that we'd make the most of this one.

I was going to make it good - no matter what.

She and her husband surprised me with a new tv last year for Christmas when I was so down
from losing my best friend, Shelly and Newman, also.

It's a good thing we cannot know our future for if we'd known then how 
she'd be gone this Christmas...it would be impossible to go on.

Her husband was everything to her and she everything to him. 
He will need everyone's prayers to keep him going.
He has lived for her for so long.
She has always been his first priority.

There must be something better after this life...she so deserves it.
If anyone ever deserved heaven...it is her.

I'll check in and let you know how my Mom is...but I may not 
do any serious posting for quite awhile...not till my Mom is better.

I just feel like not trying any more.


The Fab Spot said...

I will pray for you and your friend's husband. Bless you.

Jan Hermann said...

Oh {{{{Nita}}}}! What a terrible tragedy to lose your friend...at Christmas. (any time) I'm so very sorry for your loss.

I wish there was something more than offering my condolences and prayers that I could do for you. Please let me know if there is.

Today, as I've been visiting Blog Friends, I've read of some other losses. I design and create Rosaries and if receiving one would help you...I am having a Give-Away of one of my Rosaries and it ends tomorrow evening.


Hugs again...
Jan ♥

I remember your sudden loss of Newman last year and how it broke your heart (and mine to read about it). Do take care of yourself.

Kizzy said...

I am really sorry to hear your very sad news. My thoughts and prayers are with you i hope your moms operation goes well.

Shannon said...

I am so sorry for the loss of such a friend. I will be thinking of you and her husband and praying for all of you. ♥

Gail Griner Golden at Gail-Friends said...

Oh, how sad to lose your friend, Nita. I know how you feel because I lost a very dear friend just before Thanksgiving this year. It still hurts so bad.

I hurt for you and her husband and loved ones left behind. If not for the love of G-d in times like these I don't know how we would go on. I pray for your comfort and for you to feel His loving, calming caring presence in the days ahead.

How kind of you to share your lovely Christmas decorations with us, even though you are suffering. What a loving thing to do. I truly found joy in looking at your pretty arrangements. Your act of love was not wasted. It glorified the One we celebrate during this season. Thank you.

Take care, and know that you and your friend, and your mother are in my prayers.

Blessings, love and hugs to you and your doggie children.

Debra@CommonGround said...

Nita, I'm so sorry. I know those words may not help, but please know that we all are feeling for you and your friend's family, and saying prayers for comfort and strength. Don't give up, sweet friend.

t said...

I'm so sorry for loss. Don't give up. Sometimes life sucks, just hang on, have faith, and take yourself and your loved ones right now.

t said...

I'm so sorry for loss. Don't give up. Sometimes life sucks, just hang on, have faith, and take yourself and your loved ones right now.

Heirloom treasures said...

Nita,I am so sorry for your loss. We never know what's in store for any of us. You and your mum and friends family will be in my prayers. Take care my friend. Thinking of you xx jeanette

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Unknown said...

Oh sweetie. My heart is breaking for you right now. I can hear the despair and hopelessness in your words. I am not a religious person, but I do feel that faith in something (even in good vs. bad) is all we have to get through. You are such a bright spot in my week- your blog got me through a rough time this past year and helped to give me something to look forward to each week. Sunday open house was so much more than looking at a pretty home- it was your writing, your voice that cheered me up when I needed it. I hope that there is something in your life that can do what you did for me. *hugs*

Debbie-Dabble Blog and A Debbie-Dabble Christmas said...

I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost a good friend last year right before Christmas and I still miss her...
I will say a prayer for your friend's family, for your Mom and for you!
Please let us know how your Mom is doing..
Once again, I am so sorry ..
Take care....
Many Hugs,

An Urban Cottage said...

I"m so sorry, Nita. What a terrible thing. Give yourself permission to take some time for yourself and your mom.
xo Steve

Amy Chalmers said...

Nita I am in shock. I cannot believe what I am reading on your post. I am so sorry to hear about Shannon. This is just crazy. I don't blame you one bit...omg

Lee said...

Oh Nita....I am sorry for the loss of your dear friend. But she will be forever in your heart. I am sending you my prayers and good thoughts for strength to help you through this horrible time. Please look at your beautiful dining room and smile at what you have created. You always put a smile on my face, even on dark days. Hugs the dogs and remember all your friends out here in blog land. May you feel the love which surrounds you!

Anonymous said...

So very sorry for your loss. I feel your pain.........Looking at your beautiful decorations the softness of the colors and the sparkle make me feel good. Your friend was a light in you and her light will shine bright and brighter as time goes on....you will be the vessel. My heart goes out to you. Rest and remember a light gets brighter the darker it gets. Bobbie from Spokane

Anonymous said...

So very sorry for your loss. I feel your pain.........Looking at your beautiful decorations the softness of the colors and the sparkle make me feel good. Your friend was a light in you and her light will shine bright and brighter as time goes on....you will be the vessel. My heart goes out to you. Rest and remember a light gets brighter the darker it gets. Bobbie from Spokane

Anonymous said...

Nita.......so very sorry for the loss of your dear friend. Take time to grieve and begin to mend your heart. Take time to care for your dear mom after her upcoming surgery......and then come back to us....your friends and readers.......we care about you and will be thinking of you, your mom and Shannon's family. Jana in Texas

NanaDiana said...

Oh- I am so so sorry, Nita. Life is so unfair sometimes. Blessings to you, Diana

Claudia said...

Nita, I am so very sorry. You have had more than your share of loss. I will be thinking of you and of your friend's family.


Pamela said...

You are in my thoughts, Nita.

Karen said...

I am sorry. Praying.

"Create Beauty" said...

Many are weeping with you at this sad loss just before Christmas ~ when our hearts want everything to be merry and bright.

Even though it sounds cliche at a time like this, I am praying for you.

~ Violet

Anonymous said...

My thoughts are with you and the family of your wonderful friend. God Bless. Joanne

Our Beach House said...

Oh Nita.
Don't give up.
xo xo

Sharon Rexroad's Bringing Creativity 2 Life said...

Dearest Nita

I am sorry for your loss. I just know your friend likely used the same phrase to describe you: "the kindest, sweetest, most thoughtful person in the world." Because that is who you are. The downside is that your big heart feels pain and loss so deeply too.

Will be thinking of you this week and especially on the day of your momma's surgery.

Anonymous said...

No we don't have control over much. The older I get the more I understand that. It's very humbling not to mention scary. I'm so sorry for your pain. This is not going to be a merry Christmas, to say the least, so I wish you peace. I'll be thinking of you, your friends and your mother and saying prayers. This is a very sad blow for you.

Annette T. said...

Nita, there's no words I can find to comfort you now. Just know she loved you and everything you did for her. I'll be saying prayers for her and her family, and of course for you Mum's surgery. Please let us know how she is. Your decorations are so beauitful, and what if they stay there for weeks to come, who cares, and thank you for sharing them with us.

Katie @ Wildwood Creek said...

I'm so sorry about your friend. You and your family and friends are in my thoughts and prayers.

Dewena said...

Nita, I hurt so badly for you, along with all your other readers who really do care about you, your weenies, and your life. As you told me recently, there's not much someone can say to ease the hurt. I hope you will feel that others here are sharing your hurt and wanting the best for you and praying for you and your mother as she needs you in the coming weeks, and for your friend's husband.

You will have the strength to care for your mother because of who you are. One day at a time.

Adam Hazlett said...

Shannon was blessed to have a friend like you. My heart felt sympathy to you Nita...It's just not fair. You and your mom are in my prayers.

Vanessa said...


I am so sorry about your friend. It's never easy to lose someone you care and love very much. I will be praying for you all.


Jane said...

My friend Shannon was the sweetest, kindest most thoughtful person ever.
She was always trying to figure out what she could do for others to make their lives better.

But can't you see that the words above also fit you?

Please be kind to yourself and realize that there is much not in our control, but not giving up is totally within our control.

I wish you the best, I am very sorry for your loss.

TeamMcDonough said...

Sending some light and joy. So sorry for your loss. Maybe after a bit you can try again. Try to feel the joy your friends would wish for you.

Sonia said...

Sorry for your loss of a friend! It seems so hard sometimes when these losses happen around holidays! I will pray for you and her family! Take care of yourself and your decorations looked lovely..your little village is adorable! Hugs!!
Miss Bloomers

S said...

I only recently found your beautiful blog, and pinned a picture of your dining room before reading the sad story about your friend. All I can say is I am so sorry for your loss. My father died the day after Thanksgiving and it hits you like a ton of bricks, it's so unexpected, and then it's close to the holiday too, it makes it so hard. I will pray for you and your friends husband too. Concentrate on you and your mom...so sorry for your loss...Sally

Bliss said...

Loss is never easy, especially at this time of year. I don't have any merry and bright words of wisdom, we both know healing just takes time.


Cindi Myers said...

Nita....I just don't know what to say.
I just got home from my Step-mom's where me and my sister and her family celebrated Xmas eve. I thought I'd quickly check my blog list and found this post. I'm stunned. I called my sister and reread every word to her as I cried. My heart is broken for you. this is so unfair, how much are you expected to handle? I can't find words. There are no words. My sister said to send you strength and love and that's what I'm focusing on, sending it out to you. Please hang on, know that you have so many friends that love you and worry about you. Be strong for your Mom and hold on, please don't let go. please.
Know that I am here for you. I know that with you will be busy with Shannon's family and dealing with what must be dealt with and then your Mom's surgery and recovery. Yes, take a break and don't worry about posting except hopefully brief updates.
I'm so sorry my friend...I know that I shouldn't feel rage but I do. I want to shake my fists and scream. You deserved the best out of life and you keep getting dealt with so much heartache. Take comfort in your dogs and knowing that you are no alone and you are loved by so many. xoxoxo - Cindi

Michelle said...

Hi Nita,
I don't know if this is the right time to say this (or the right thing to say) but I have been following your blog for some time now, over three years, and posted here several times. I am from OKC and love, love, love that neighborhood you live in. It evokes such charm and romance. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I am sorry for your loss. And to let you know that I am thinking of you and that you are not alone. I too am having a bad year and am feeling such loss and sadness and dismay. Things really couldn't get much worse. As John Lennon said, life is what happens while we are making other plans. To me, Christmas is just another day, like any other day. But mostly a day for commercialism. So I choose to celebrate a very subdued "winter solstice" instead. Anyway, I truely am sorry for your loss. And was thinking of you today and planning on posting here when I saw a Verizon commercial on TV. It made me think of you because it depicted a family celebrating Christmas with an unusually tall xmas tree ... and in the living room where the tree stood was a fireplace with grey/blue tile very similar to yours. And I thought to myself, "That tile looks a lot like Nita's!" Now, this says a lot about me, noticing the decor and tile color in television commercials. But anyway, this living room was more Craftsman in style ... with bookcases on either side of the fireplace. And your home is the epitome of English Tudor Cottage in my opinion. I happen to have a love affair with this type of home and always dreamed that I could one day live in one. I always wish that I had the time (and money) to study architecture and design and learn more about home design and such greats like Frank Lloyd Wright. But being a poor Okie, life has dealt me a few blows, and I am forced to do the best that I can, and enjoy the beauty of homes like yours from afar. So I just wanted to say, hang in there homegirl. It does get better with time. Also know that your little blog here is bigger than you know. Your home (it's brick and mortar) your blog (it's creativity and design) will live on for decades. And what you do here is important. (Just imagine if we had a blog-type record from the original owners of your home! How much fun would that be?!) I always look forward to your Sunday Open House posts. Homes, just like people, are important. And I can see the time and effort that you put into yours. So know that it does not go unappreciated. It is understandable that you feel like giving up and not posting for a while. Artists especially need their rest. You are clearly going through a lot. So get some rest. Take care of yourself and your mum! And I will be thinking of you and sending you and your mom some best wishes for a safe and prosperous New Year. For us Okie gals, it's gotta get better. Hope to see you here again soon. Take care-

maureen said...

i am so sorry for your loss.

Patti Willey said...

Oh I'm so sorry Nita. So sorry you've lost such a great friend. My prayers are for you and her husband, and for your Mother's surgery & recovery. Take a break! reflect, relax, jot down all the blessings in your life including all those you had with Sharon & her husband. You will see, you are blessed. This is one of the most beautiful blogs out there, I hope some day you can share your love with with the world again soon. Hugs

Linda Hartong said...

I am so sorry. You always try so hard to make lemonade out of lemons but not this time. It is so hard. In spite of all this you found a bright spot to share with us on Christmas day. Its lovely.
Of course I will be thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers.
Take a break, take time to grieve and come back to us when you can. Until then....

LuvWheaties said...

Nita, I read your blog all the time, and it is a favorite. I am so very sorry that you have lost such a dear friend. I remember how difficult last Christmas was for you, and I wish there was something I could say to make things better. I will keep you and Shannon's husband and friends in my thoughts, and will say a special prayer for your mother.

Pam @ Frippery said...

Nita, I have stayed away from the computer this week and just read this. I can't say how bad I feel for you and your friends family. So sad but made even harder when everything around you is bombarding you with "good cheer". Take time to grieve. I am praying for you and your mom today that all goes well and that 2013 will be a much better year for you.
Know that many are keeping you in thoughts and prayers at this difficult time.

Anonymous said...

Nita, Your words about your friend are so beautiful. Some time has passed since you posted regarding Shannon's death and I hope your heart is healing. And I pray that you and Shannon's family find peace in your hearts this new year.