Million Dollar Decorators

I'm Hooked

Last week I was anxious for the premier of 

Million Dollar Decorators on

The premiere didn't thrill me but I have enough experience with Bravo Reality TV to know

that often the premiere is lackluster and then soon I can't live without my weekly dose of 

whatever the show is.

Let's just talk about the decorators pictured above.

1. Mary McDonald

I expected to like her a lot and I don't. 

She was asked to decorate a client's guest house to prepare it for sale and asked to keep the design minimal. 

She refused but said she would keep costs in mind.

Originally, she was given a $100,000 budget but client called and asked her to keep it to $50,000 since 

they are selling the home. Mary got all snippy and said..."Well, I can't do it for that. 

You should just do it yourself with catalogs if that is what you want to spend!" 

This scared the client and she agreed to let Mary go right ahead with her plans 

but please keep budget in mind and hold costs down.

Mary didn't. She bought tons of ridiculously expensive safari looking junk. 

She painted the walls chocolate brown and hung antlers everywhere. 

If this was suppose to be a man cave...well it was a nice man cave.

The client was thrilled when she saw it and said, "And we can use all this stuff again!"

They will never use that stuff again.

She frightens me and I know she frightened the mover when it was revealed that a mirror had broken in transit. 

I think her face cracked it. She does remind me of the Evil Queen in Snow White. 

Perhaps this was her magic mirror and even it didn't want to work for her any more.

2. Jeffry Alan Marks

I like him only slightly better than Mary. I do love his green shoes. 

In this episode he is wrapping up a house design that has been three years in the making. 

I assume he was in charge of building the house too. 

Three years and the bed is still not ready on time. 

And he orders the world's smallest sink. 

When the client's daughter questions it, he has it redone to be the world's second smallest sink. 

Really....I think it was about an inch bigger and cost an additional $15,000. 

When asked about it...he said..."Rich people don't need big sinks because their hands don't get dirty."

Here he says, "I think I have a harder job than the President of the United States!" 

See why I don't like him....oh but I want to watch him.

This is the main reason why I want to watch Jeffry Alan Marks - his boyfriend and assistant, Ross. 

I want to live in Ross's hair.

It's so shiny and blonde and floppy. These photos do not do it justice...I'm entranced by it.

Now...Ross is snide and snippy and has a strange accent that I cannot place. 

I feel strongly that he is a person that has recreated himself. 

I suspect that Jeffry found him on the streets of LA shortly after he got off the bus from the Appalachian Mountains. 

I think he grew up a hillbilly....came to LA... 

worked the streets for awhile and then recreated himself as this upscale boytoy. 

I don't care I just want to watch him flip his hair.

This episode, Jeffry shoves Ross in the pool after they've completed the job. 

I want to jump in after him.

Yes, I know he's gay but I want to touch his hair.

3. Nathan Turner

Nathan is what we would all hope for in a decorator. He's nice...calming...reassuring and talented.

I am a little confused  - in this episode they rip out what looks to be antique tile because of some
construction problems and replace it with antique tile from Spain that costs like $50,000.

It looks very much like what they just ripped out. 

Nathan sketches out the plans for his client's roof top deck over coffee with her.

I wonder if this is to scale? Doesn't matter, she approves and they start shopping.

They do the deck in Bohemian Moroccan. I'm very tired of Moroccan anything.

But the space turns out very nice and very much fitting the style of the house.

Looks like Nathan actually works unlike Queen Mary....she sat around ordering everyone else 

to do everything and was hateful when the movers stopped to eat lunch. 

4. Kathryn Ireland

Last week I was most disappointed by Kathryn Ireland. She was nothing like I pictured her.

She was down to earth, bawdy, rough around the edges and whacky.

This was not what I thought she'd be from seeing all the lovely rooms she's done over the years.

But this week I've decided I love her because she is

down to earth, bawdy, rough around the edges and whacky.

She buys her bras at a Flea Market. I have to say...it really does look like she wears flea market bras.

She and Martyn have been great friends for at least 10 years according to Martyn. 

They do seem like they have fun together.

This is Kathryn's housekeeper, Jacqueline. She is the best character on the show. 

She is french and you can only understand about every fifth word out of her mouth.

I'm sure she drinks in her room...well...she probably drinks all over the house.

I love her...so does Martyn.

5. Martyn Lawrence Bullard

Last week he was my least favorite. He came off so pretentious sporting that odd fake accent of his. 

And I'm distracted by that 5 o'clock shadow that seems to darken as the camera rolls. 

He must have the fastest growing beard ever and I'm pretty sure he wears eye shadow.

But this week we saw another side of him.

He's addicted to chocolate and downed a whole box while listening to his assistant review the days work schedule.

He went to a hypnotist about it and now chocolate tastes like anchovies to him and he is repulsed by it. 

(which is very sad)

He was nice to the dog too so that made me like him more.

and he met Kathryn for lunch at Villa Blanca.

I like it any time Bravo gives us glimpses of Lisa Vanderpump's restaurant.

It is so pretty.

Anyway...Kathryn seems to really like Martyn and so do I. 

I'd love to drink wine with these two while running my hands through Ross's hair.

Kathryn and Ross

I cannot wait for next week. It seemed to me that there was a lot more decorating in this one

 but maybe I am so invested in the characters already that I don't mind them not decorating.

Are you watching? What do you think of the show?