When one door closes...

another one opens.

Have you ever had the feeling that your life was going to change whether you had anything to say about it or not? Several times in my life...things have gone into motion that I cannot stop, no matter how hard I try and believe me...I try to stop it. In the end the change happens no matter what you do and in the long run this whole change, even though it is not what you would have chosen at that moment...leads to you doing what you actually needed to do, but did not have the courage to do...or gets you out of a situation that was not healthy for you anyway.

I was let go from my full time position on Wednesday... and although it was unfair the way things went down....now I won't be working in a crappy office across town into the wee hours of the night designing for a backwards company...when I'd rather be designing for my own clients and doing my own thing. In the past several months...I've worked sitting at my desk at the office for as long as 38 hours straight several times. And it was not uncommon for me to be there till midnight several nights a week and work weekends.

I have to say I have done this kind of thing in the past when I freelanced and worked for other companies to get a big exciting creative project done and or  hit an especially tight deadline or to get myself all completely caught up on all projects so that I could have a fresh start...but I have been working like this for over a year and a half to just try to keep my head above water there. I would work all night and still be way behind on everything...because I was trying to do all design, marketing and website design and updating for 3 tv stations and 5 radio stations. My request for an assistant went on deaf ears.

I was let go because the boss thinks I am not getting enough done. I laughed in his face when he fired me because it was so ridiculous. (by the way...I've become friends with the last person that had that job...she was let go for the same reason, she said she felt sorry for me when I took her place...even though she should have been mad..because she knew what a terrible situation I was walking in to) Wait till my replacement finds out what is going on there. I now have my life back. I guess someone was looking out for me even though I had my nose to the grindstone and blinders on.

As the saying goes....

When one door closes...another one opens...

So first on the agenda is to do stuff for me...which I have put off for over two years...because I have been working so much. Of course it's scary...I don't know where the money will be coming in from for awhile. Not sure I want to jump into a corporate job again...actually..I know I don't. My wish is to do freelance design work and start painting again. 

This weekend, I'm going to try not to think too much. Then next week is the beginning of my start over...a chance to be happy and not slave away for someone who doesn't care about me. 

So now I'm looking towards a brighter tomorrow and thinking I might actually get to see some of this summer...unlike the last two. 

I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

Thanks for listening...I needed to vent.